Best Beetlejuice Quotes

70 Best Beetlejuice Quotes For The Undead (2022)

Beetlejuice is one of the most timeless and wickedly comedic works of Tim Burton. Despite being released in 1988, this classic satire comedy film is a must during Halloween.

It features the adventures of a deceased couple, Adam and Barbara Maitland, and a ghost named Betelgeuse.

If you’re a fan of this movie, here are the best Beetlejuice quotes that made it a cult classic and one of the best afterlife-themed films.

70 Spooky & Strange Beetlejuice Quotes For Your Undead Soul

close up photo of Beetlejuice

1. “Barb, honey… We’re dead. I don’t think we have much to worry about anymore.” - Adam Maitland [1]

2. “I know just as much about the supernatural as I do about interior design.” - Otho

3. “Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.” - Beetlejuice

4. “I’m trying to cut down myself.” - Burnt Smoker Ghost

5. “Ah. Well, I attended Juilliard. I’m a graduate of Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the Exorcist 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. Not to mention the fact that you’re talking to a dead guy! Now, what do you think? You think I’m qualified?” - Beetlejuice

6. “I’m the ghost with the most, babe.” - Beetlejuice

7. “Never trust the living.” - Juno

8. “I’m not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you ‘Night of the Living Dead’ under there? Like, all bloody veins and pus?’ - Lydia Deetz

9. “I’ve read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: ‘Live people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am strange and unusual.” - Lydia Deetz

10. “Don’t mind her. She’s still upset that somebody dropped a house on her sister.” - Otho

11. “Thanks. I’ve been feeling a little flat.” - Ghost who looks flattened by a semi-truck

12. “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.” - Delia Deetz

13. “The only one I think I can deal with is Edgar Allan Poe’s Daughter. I think she understands me.” - Beetlejuice

14. “As soon as we get settled, we’ll build you a darkroom in the basement, okay?” - Charles Deetz

15. “My whole life is a darkroom. One big, dark room.” - Lydia Deetz

16. “What’s the good of being a ghost if you can’t frighten people away?” - Barbara Maitland

17. “Coach? I don’t think we survived that crash!” - Footballer

18. “Go ahead. Make my millennium!” - Beetlejuice

19. “This is what happens when you die. That is what happens when he dies. And that is what happens when they die. It’s all very personal. And I’ll tell you something: if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have had my little accident.” - Receptionist [2].

20. “I’m here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, and I will take you with me!” - Delia Deetz

21. “You can’t scare her. She’s sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.” - Lydia Deetz

22. “If you insist on frightening people, do it with your sculptures.” - Bernard

23. “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!” - Lydia Deetz

24. “In heaven, there wouldn’t be dust on everything.” - Barbara Maitland

25. “Why did you disappear when you stepped off the porch? Are we halfway to heaven, are we halfway to hell? How long is this gonna last?” - Barbara Maitland

26. “Please, they’re dead. It’s a little late to be neurotic.” - Delia Deetz

27. “I’ll do anything to get your business. Hell, I’ll possess myself if I gotta. I’ve got demons running all through me.” - Beetlejuice

28. “If you act now, you get a free demon possession with every exorcism.” - Beetlejuice

29. “You read my mind. So few people are able to read my mind. They’re just not open to the experience.” - Otho

30. “We come for your daughter, Chuck.” - Beetlejuice

31. “We’re unhappy.” Juno: “What do you expect, you’re dead.” - Barbara Maitland

32. “Whew! Thank you, thank you! That is why I won’t do two shows a night anymore, babe, I won’t, I won’t do them.” - Beetlejuice

33. “Welcome to Winter River, a museum of natural greed, a monument to the bored businessman! Come on a little closer! Step right up! Test your strength!” - Beetlejuice

34. “I’ll eat anything you want me to eat. I’ll swallow anything you want me to swallow! So, come on down, and I’ll chew on a dog!” - Beetlejuice

35. “This is my art, and it is dangerous. You think I want to die like this! - Delia Deetz

36. “There’s a word for people in our situation: ghosts.” - Adam Maitland

37. “These aren’t my rules. Come to think of it, I don’t have any rules.” - Beetlejuice

38. “You have got to take the upper hand in all situations, or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you.” - Delia Deetz

39. “Maybe you can relax in a haunted house, but I can’t.” - Lydia Deetz

40. “Not so fast, round boy. We’re gonna have some laughs.” - Beetlejuice

41. “Open this door, you dead people, or we’ll bust it down, and we’ll drag you out by the ropes you hang yourselves with!’ - Delia Deetz

42. “Rule number two: The living usually won’t see the dead.” - Barbara Maitland

43. “I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn’t do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can’t see you!” - Juno

44. “I plan to have a stroke from the amount of MSG that’s in this food.” - Lydia Deetz

45. “Sick! Sexual perversion! If you’re going to do weird sexual stuff, you ought to stay in your bedroom, ok?” - Lydia Deetz

46. “I wanna be dead too.” - Lydia Deetz

47. “I am alone. I am *utterly* alone.” - Lydia Deetz

48. “We’re ghosts! - Adam Maitland

49. “Maybe this is heaven.” - Adam Maitland

50. “In heaven, there wouldn’t be dust on everything.” - Barabara Maitland

51. “Where are all the other people dead in the world? Why is it just you and me? - Barbara Maitland

52. “So you were miserable in New York City, and now you’re going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone’s life hasn’t been upheaved.” - Delia Deetz

53. “Things seem pretty quiet. Thank God you didn’t die in Italy.” - Juno

54. “They wanted me to dissect a frog; I told them it was against my religion.” - Lydia Deetz

55. “If you tell me what you do, I’ll tell you why my husband will fire you.” - Delia Deetz

56. “I’m just doin’ my job. Besides, I thought we had a deal! Hey, it’s OK... You know why? I don’t wanna do business with you deadbeats anyway.” - Beetlejuice

57. “I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action.” - Beetlejuice

58. “Jane, don’t send people photos of our house.” - Barbara Maitland

59. “Adam, you had a photo of Big Foot!” - Barabara Maitland

60. “Cute couple. Look nice and stupid too.” - Beetlejuice

61. “Whew! Thank you, thank you! That is why I won’t do two shows a night anymore, babe, I won’t, I won’t do ’em.” - Beetlejuice

62. “Nice f***ing model!” - Beetlejuice

63. “There’s absolutely no organic flow through.” - Otho

64. “I noticed that too; it’s like a giant ant farm.” - Delia Deetz

65. “I’m tellin’ ya, honey, she meant nothin’ to me. Nothin’ at all!” - Beetlejuice

66. “I didn’t realize you were into the supernatural.” - Bernard

67. “And look at that kitchen. You’re finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.” - Charles Deetz

68. “You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age, I would have been scared out of my wits.” - Barbara Maitland

69. “How do I look? There are no mirrors on this side.” - Messenger

70. “Shh! They didn’t commit suicide.” - Lydia Deetz

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FAQs

What does Beetlejuice say in his commercial?

In his commercial, Beetlejuice was sporting a cowboy outfit in a cemetery while riding on a cow and said, “Havin’ trouble with the livin’? You tired of havin’ your home space violated? Wanna get rid of the pesky livin’ critters once and for all? Well, come on down and see me, folks. I’m the afterlife’s leading bio-exorcist.”

Then, he offered a free demon possession with every exorcism and finally said, “And remember, I’ll eat anything you want me to eat, and I’ll swallow anything you want me to swallow. So come down, I’ll chew on a dog” [3].

What’s the funniest Beetlejuice quote?

Probably the funniest Beetlejuice quote is when Adam asks the qualifications of Beetlejuice, and he replies, “Ah. Well, I attended Juilliard. I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the Exorcist 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. Not to mention the fact that you’re talking to a dead guy! Now, what do you think? You think I’m qualified?”

Say It Out Loud

Whether you got hooked on its quirky characters or Tim Burton’s wacky style, Beetlejuice quotes will surely bring laughter to anyone with humor.

So show your fandom with these best Beetlejuice quotes to the living or as a Halloween greeting, perfect for the strange and unusual!

You can also take home or gift to a fan in your life Toynk’s Beetlejuice “Ghost With The Most” Curved Ceramic Mug, the perfect treat to enjoy a drink while rewatching your favorite Tim Burton movie.

This mug is a great addition to your collection, featuring the mischievous ghost Betelguese.

Also, if you’re looking for more Beetlejuice merch to collect or surprise a fan, don’t forget to check our website out!

References:

  1. https://screenrant.com/greatest-lines-beetlejuice/
  2. https://www.cinemablend.com/movies/beetlejuice-the-funniest-and-most-memorable-quotes-from-the-tim-burton-classic
  3. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094721/characters/nm0000474

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